On this day, exactly one year ago, kabuki zero trans-located his pretty white ass to California. Swimming pools, movie stars. Can you dig it? (i knew you could) Ah - the joy that is my new existence could only be improved by: blue porsche, sexy movie stars and one large ass bank account. Of course kabuki realizes how shallow this seems - too bad soo sad. You asked. I felt your question in my mind. Quite handy - these pyschic powers. Is it the high power lines overhead? The windmills that dot my ever-so-scenic desert valley landscape? Or just the continuing evolution of the kabuki? The answer is WHO CARES!! Kabuki got hot psycho kinetic power and is not afraid to use it. Don't make me angry, you really wouldn't like me angry. (i kid, you will always adore kabuki - it is your nature) If you hear of an Old Navy store exploding - well - you have been warned. icky things can often be found hangin on racks at Old Navy (or so my spies say, kabiki has yet to step foot in one) Might as well go to a MALL. OMG - can you imagine the horror. kabuki would simply go to an Orange Julius stand, order a hot dog, and die. Would not even need to eat it, just ordering it would be toxic to kabuki. Kabuki remembers from long ago, when kabuki's mumsie was still around. One day she says to kabuki "I had a piece of pizza from 7-eleven. It was not very good". "Imagine that" kabuki replied, making a mental note to hide mumsie's car keys. Apparently madness exists in the kabuki family tree. Let us hope it never strikes our delightly personable star (ME). Yes kabuki has often been the sanest person in the room. Usually it is at family gatherings - but it happens elsewhere as well. Kabuki remembers from long ago (my memory is scary - ask around) when kabuki and several hundred inebriated patrons of local nite spot Lost & Found were watching drunk ninnies light fireworks on the roof of the same said nite spot. It was Sunday tea dance, it was july fourth, and we were on the lovely deck enjoying the festivites. Suddenly a medium-sized fully lit firework fell off the roof and landed in front of our bar patrons. It lay sideways on the deck spewing its glittering death flames towards one and all. And nobody moved. "OH MY GOD" kabuki yelled "DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING", at which point kabuki walked over and stomped out the flaming firework with mine own size seven disco shoe. "Problem solved LADIES" kabuki said to the applauding crowd of nancy boys. And people wondered why kabuki so rarely dated. If kabuki is the butchest thing in the room - well you know. Anyway - happy anniversary to me and my beloved bloggites - who would never watch the internet burn. They would help kabuki stomp out the flames. Because they rock. And they are you.